So you are on the home stretch...! Stretch being the operative word! How on earth will this belly ever snap back into its original shape? Hmmm, maybe it wont. The realisation finally dawns on you that NOTHING will ever be the same again. Your body is no longer yours and is soon to become a stumbling ( the effects of birth leave you more than a little bow legged), mumbling (no energy to actually speak properly) vending machine!
Towards the end of the 6 month I begin to start feeling more like myself than earlier on and realised that as a host ship to my onboard alien I wasn’t doing too badly. Apart from looking remarkably like a swelling aubergine, my skin shone (like a glow rather than the previous ‘leaf shine look’ of before) I could eat without regret and the only real craving I had now was for blood oranges…not normal oranges but blood red! Hmmm, slightly worrying but still Vitamin C! Now I am not one to dramatise but my biggest issue as my bump entered a room before my head was the way pregnancy is ignored by many and almost considered ‘your own fault you’re in this condition but the ignorant.
One rare day when I could face going into the city centre I park up in the already heaving multi story , relieved to find one of about 3 spaces left. A car promptly pulls into the space on my drivers side. Sporty number it was I recall, like a TVR or something you wouldn’t want to prang! The guy , remarkably short (need I say more!) winks and smiles as he skips off into the crowds. Now, my problem was, with a car on both sides and a bump the size of twins (baby and fibroid vying for position) I could no more climb out of the car door than clamber over the seats and out the boot. OH MY GOD…and then of course I need a wee! Now I know there are no other spaces. So I wait a few minutes before bursting into tears, turn on the ignition and drive straight home, weeping the entire journey.
The last week of my pregnancy it happened. I was faced with my new look body in 3D. having avoided it for months it finally had to happen. My gorgeous hubby took me away for what would be the last weekend before bub and a lovely (lift free) private hotel in Bath was the perfect venue. Fear spread across the receptionist face as she saw my size and insisted we move out car to the front of the carpark ‘incase!’ No lift proved just one of the issues on this weekend away. The heat of summer and the nausea returning was enough but were the mirrored walls and ceiling in the bathroom really necessary. As I stepped into the shower and screamed my panic stricken man raced in to find me wailing like a banshee as I saw the true horror that was my new physique. Well it was a shock!
As was being told at the C-section dating scan that actually my precious cargo had performed a somersault and was in fact poised to pop out the right way..Oh dear…having avoided anything anti natal or remotely natural birth I went into panic mode at that point. Hubby delighted at prospect of being a hero and racing me across town in full blown labour (you get the idea!) And so, off to the one NCT class I made…was very relaxing actually until a lady detailed her ‘marvellous natural birth’ in such graphic detail I damn near wet myself! Nettle Tea and NO drugs?? I don’t think so!
The day before my labour began I could be seen enjoying a sunbaked weeding frenzy from the outside path and up steep steps to our terraced garden, up and down , up and down, burning weeds and dragging out brambles…why? Who knows, I certainly didn’t set foot in the garden to admire my handywork for several weeks afterwards!
And so just the next night, the last day of June and just 3 hours home from the pub (couldn’t have been embarrassing!) my waters flood out the second I get into bed! Joy. Having speed read al the do’s and don’ts for when this may happen my brain turned to mush. Running up and down the landing with towels between my legs was possibly not in the book? But the 2 sleeping step sons were oblivious despite their daddy placing their shoes neatly just inside the door as if they were going to fly from bed to shoe in one sleepy step. Gran is scrambled , engine roars (alerting the whole village to our drama) and we are off! ……………
Next week Rachel deals with the labour and, in the meantime, if you'd like to check out La Fee Noire's maternity fashion just go to www.lafeenoire.com