Tuesday, 02 November 2010 16:55

The Truth About Labour By The Black Fairy

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I really hope you've been following Rachel's alternative look at the joys of pregnancy. This is the last instalment so make the most of it.....

Labour is a strange thing, and yes sorry girls, it more than smarts! However prepared I thought I was I really am a wimp!lafeenoire maternity the black fairy

Having been told at my first scan that this baby was in no way coming out the same way it went in, due to a large fibroid growing on the neck of my womb…However as stubborn as any baby can be, mine had other ideas and squished into the engaged position just in time for the C-section dating scan…ok so we were going natural. One NCT class later and I was ready for as many drugs as the NHS would allow me to ingest .

So from 3am to 7am I kip in my maternity ward bed, fitfully and badly. I wake to find something rather unpleasant has popped out and its clearly NOT a baby!

A “show” I am reassured is a good sign!..so I merrily take the offered paracetamol for the dull tummy ache that rumbles on for several more hours. At 9am my man will appear and he can take over! Right?

So at 8pm I bell the midwife (happens to be the sweetest bank nurse who thought she would be on the orthopaedic ward, so she was in for a shocker of a day wasn’t she!)

I ask through gritted teeth ‘what can you give me now??’ she suggests a warm bath..marvellous idea, bubbles and a magazine..sadly, fear really set in on my own in that little clinical bathroom as contractions came and went with varying intensity.

So at 10 I am moved to a private ward as even I can no longer do the silent scream routine in a room of non-labouring mums-to-be.

So I am left.
Alone.
A redundant Gas and air canister calling me from one corner of the room.
Its oddly quiet.

Eventually my lovely bank nurse tells daddy to pop home and feed/walk the dog and pick up the camera we forgot the night before….It will be an age yet..oh yeh? How does she know?, So he kisses me goodbye and legs it! Within an hour a dishy doc appears just as I am in the middle of a contraction and my face is contorted like a witch chewing a wasp. He had to have thought ‘Christ what an ugly woman!’ He puts the equipment in my hand indicating he can tell I will beg for drugs! As it happens by the time daddy returns all smiles and refreshed I am ready to push.

Still alone. In my little room and More than a little cross with him!

But trust me , by now IT IS NOT QUIET.

I can hear this deep growling , almost like a lioness in the wild.

Jesus, what a racket. Oh, so its me!? Hmmm, that’s different.

Wheelchair ride to the delivery suite and we’re off. Too late for drugs. Too late to back out and certainly too late to slap the nurse who asked me to quieten down on the way down there. Be back for her later!

The joy of Gas and Air…at one critical point both Delivery midwife and daddy to be suggest I take in some actual AIR as well as Gas! Well I always thought the two were combined in the one can so having happily breathed in and out on the thing I was on a different planet!

After just 3 more hours and without swearing bizarrely and my gorgeous bub is squinting up at her mummy and for that special 15 minutes or so we are 3. Daddy says ‘remember this moment, its our secret for just these few minutes.’ That statement and the moment will remain with me forever as will my unconditional love for my special girl.

Thanks again for reading x
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